Old man in Funny hat and dress Demands to be taken Seriously

Category : Religion, Humour

When God made woman, he took a rib.

When God made Catholics, he took their sense of humour.

In my last post, we looked at the disgusting, amoral, unethical, sub-human side of the Roman Catholic Church in vomit inducing detail. But that was rather depressing wasn't it? There were no laughs to be had there! Countless children's lives have been ruined at the hands of RCC Priests, desperately trying to "Save them from Sin" by making them "Get on their knee's and accept their blessing".

BUT it seems that the RCC has heard my silent plea for comic relief and has provided some with haste! They may be centuries behind in terms of science, civil rights and moral integrity but they are like lightning when it comes to making a fool of themselves; they can't act quick enough.

But look at me whittle on while you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about.

A list of proposals for the Pope's itinerary when he visits Britain in September (written up by some junior civil servants) found itself being distributed far further than it was originally intended and, to the shock disgust to all that read it, it was full of violent threats, was grossly offensive and it was written in the blood of baby kittens.

...

Sorry, I meant that it was a list of 90% serious and relevant proposals (in bold) with a few tongue-in-cheek jokes thrown in that are only slightly more 'Risqué' than brushing your teeth in the morning. But you wouldn't think that, considering the reaction it garnered.

"David Miliband, the Foreign Secretary, was “appalled” to hear of the proposals, according to a source close to him, and blamed “a colossal failure of judgement” by officials involved.

A Foreign Office spokesman said: “This is clearly a foolish document that does not in any way reflect UK Government or Foreign Office policy or views. Many of the ideas in the document are clearly ill-judged, naive and disrespectful.

The Foreign Office very much regrets this incident and is deeply sorry for the offence which it has caused"

7 slightly off collar jokes and people are treating the ‘incident’ like they planned on handing this to the pope with a straight face. The memo that list of proposals was included with even came with the following note: -

"Please protect; these should not be shared externally. The ‘ideal visit’ paper in particular was the product of a brainstorm which took into account even the most far-fetched of ideas."

Here is what I think happened.

There was a brainstorm meeting, everyone’s ideas were written down, some of the participants had the audacity to make a few jokes and had even more audacity to share those jokes within their inner circle, knowing that the joke proposals would probably receive a titter from a few co-workers (distracting them momentarily from their reality of working for the government, thinking up ways to occupy the time of a man in a dress as he wanders aimlessly around the country) before the OBVIOUS joke proposals being removed in subsequent revisions. Sound about right? Of course it does.

But the fun doesn’t stop at a few apologetic politicians who can’t be seen to be making jokes! The Catholics find out, and man, they are they pissed off.

One highly-placed source in the Vatican said: “This could have very severe repercussions and is embarrassing for the British government - one has to question whether the action taken is enough.

“It is disgusting. Britain’s ambassador to the Holy See has been in to see the Secretary of State and explain what happened and this will all be relayed to the Pope.

“It’s even possible the trip could be cancelled as this matter is hugely offensive.”

That’s right! They’re considering cancelling their visit over a few jokes shared at their expense! Way to take the high road, Catholicism.

“I hope all concerned are ashamed of themselves and it leaves a very unpleasant taste.”

D’aww, the RCC is upset that someone dared point out how ass-backwards, anti-scientific, sexist, homophobic and criminal the church is, and they’re upset about it. Diddums!

And there are quite a few interesting parallels that can be drawn here, a few delicious morsels of hypocrisy to be nibbled on happily.

The RCC, as has been established quite firmly, has been at the heart of a GIANT child abuse scandal where pretty much no one in the church’s hierarchy has been punished for their crimes (quite a few innocent groups have been scapegoated though) and their entire repentance amounts to a single poultry apology...yet here they are claiming that, because no one was fired for privately writing down mild satire, “one has to question whether the action taken is enough”.

It’s enough to make my jaw propel itself towards the centre of the earth.

You know, It wouldn’t surprise me if they were looking for any excuse to cancel the visit to England, considering that the pope may face the possibility of being arrested. But hey, if he doesn’t come, great! That will be 20 million pounds saved that can be spent on something other than providing hospitality to a Monster.